"Sarah is best described as confusing. My four years playing under her direction were overflowing with uncertainty and trepidation. Worry, insecurity, and unease were constant for me, my teammates, her staff, and fellow athletic department members, and nearly anyone who interacted with her face-to-face displayed a detectable level of anxiousness. In terms of soccer, I always thought she was knowledgeable and passionate. It is obvious that she knows the game and understands what it takes to win and develop players. I almost certainly have her to thank for the level of play I was able to achieve before the end of my career. The only critiques I would share about her coaching would be her over-reliance on her starting 11. I spent time as a bench player (game-changer in her terms) and a starter during my career; starting my Freshman and Senior seasons and game-changing my Sophomore and Junior seasons. I felt the effects of her over-reliance on her starting 11 as a starter and as a game changer. As a game-changer, even if you are 1st on the depth chart, there is a minimal chance you will play more than 10 minutes throughout a match IF you even sub on. When looking at box scores for UMary games, you will almost always see that she makes significantly fewer substitutions than opponents despite having a similar roster size and depth compared to other NSIC teams. As a starter, I felt the physical effects of never leaving the pitch. Nagging injuries and exhaustion would set in around late September or early October, and from there, it was a struggle to perform to the best of my ability, and still, she would never relieve me or my teammates for as much as 5 minutes. Being honest with Sarah about how I was physically feeling was not an option if I wanted to continue to play the rest of the season. I learned my lesson my freshman year when I was honest about the pain I was having in my knee that prevented me from extending completely. I was immediately cut not just from the starting lineup but from playing entirely for several weeks despite the injury not requiring so. On the flip side, I have seen her push her starters through severe injuries due to her lack of confidence in her non-starters. Bruised ribs, concussions, severe sprains, and even a torn ACL are some of the injuries she insisted that starters continued playing through before even considering playing a player off the bench. Despite this, the team does seem to stay consistently successful, though I do deeply believe that the reason the team hasn't seen more success is due to the poor physical state of the players on the field in the late parts of the season. They can't keep up with teams that have been exercising their depth. She recruits well, and there's no doubt in my mind that she has a team full of capable and game-ready players, but her fear of taking her "best" players off the field trumps all. My relationship with Sarah was rocky. It was full of ups-and-downs and each down left me in a worse place of insecurity and distrust than the last. The nail in the coffin came for me in my Senior season, in the first game of my Senior season, wherein post-game and in the following days, she made several flaming accusations about me regarding my mental health and contacted a medical professional that I had been visiting without my permission. The team culture changed significantly during my time on the team and for the better in my opinion. My class was met with a lot of hostility as a Freshman, specifically by the Senior class. Based on our experience, we wanted to collectively make a change and took an unofficial vow to treat everyone with kindness and equality regardless of age, ability, position, skill, etc. Accountability played a large part in the team culture, often as players we were officially or unofficially tasked with upholding the values of the team like "find the work", "grit is mandatory", or "bleed blue". My teammates have become close friends whose connections I still maintain and value. I dare to say we "trauma bonded" over our shared fear and experiences with Sarah. The school culture is less than supportive of the Women's soccer team as well, despite the program being one of the most successful women's teams on campus. Professors often get upset and try to retaliate against athletes for missing class due to games or meets, the student population rarely turns out for sports outside of football, volleyball, and basketball, and if you make it through all 4 years, your efforts are rewarded with a "student-athlete" cord that will be barely visible as you cross the stage at graduation. The issue of sports culture at the school extends beyond the soccer team, despite athletes making up a decent portion of the student population. In your time as a UMary athlete, you will also be subjected to 3 years of "Virtue in Sport" classes. These are university-required courses for all athletes in which you discuss (get lectured to about by a priest) virtues. There are volunteer requirements associated with the second level of the course and assignments/projects required at all levels. Most athletes loathe having to take this course as it takes up more of their precious and already extremely limited free time with credit hours and time spent outside of class completing assignments or volunteering. And no, there is no required course equivalent for non-athlete students, which again leads me to believe that the University as a whole, has little respect for its athletes and that their whole "Greatness through Virtue" initiative is nothing more than a PR stunt. Ultimately, if you are considering playing college soccer for UMary, don't let my less-than-ideal experience be the reason you don't get to experience college soccer. It is a wonderful thing to be a part of and something that I do not regret. I have met my best friends through college athletics as well as gained skills and experience that likely cannot be replicated in other ways. It was trying and difficult and there were many days I was certain I would quit or transfer. It was my teammates and family who got me through to the other side. Thank you for taking the time to read my essay, and best of luck in your college athletics search!"