"definitely has some shortcomings as a tactician and head coach but operates with good intent. plenty of small mistakes here and there while trying to gain footing as a new program, most of which could be foregiven or overcome.
however, one massive miscalculation led to the relentless spread cancerous gossip and childish attempts to undermine the growth of program. in a foolhearted attempt to improve the team culture, decker cut an entitled player with an inflated sense of self and little to no ability to carry themself as a d1 athlete, on or off the field (one minor example can be found on twitter/x......a self-made video of the player originally posted to snapchat.....casually using the "n-word"......while simultaneously being an over-privileged caucasian girl).
reasonable people are probably wondering, "how is the removal of this player a negative!?!?!". Simple. Said removed players' girlfriend was still on the team -- a graduate student, no less, with the kind of emotional regulation you’d expect from someone who thinks “drama” is a leadership style. decker ignorantly understimated the blinding psycopathy this graduate student, and her parents, would display now that her lover was off the team.
coach decker had an innate ability to draw maximum effort and energy out of her players......sadly, these efforts would only appear immediately after a player was removed from the roster. if only she could have found a way to draw those efforts out while these girls were still associated with the program. those of us around the program have witnessed how much easier it is to tear something down rather than build it up. regardless, probably best for all parties involved this chapter has come to a close."
"
When you first meet Meg, she says all the right things to make you believe in her and her program. She will do and say anything to get support and recruit players. However, what has transpired this year is genuinely appalling. She hired Kirkland Lews, an associate head coach who handles everything on the field during practice, while Meg handles more "administrative" things like recruiting. She has missed two games without explaining why to the players; players didn't know she wasn't coming until they were already on the field for warmups. Outside of this, she and Kirkland specifically are very knowledgeable about the game of lacrosse, however their coaching skills do not translate. I have never heard coaches give so much negative criticism with zero constructiveness. They are both manipulators and need to be let go.
All the girls hear is that they suck, this is the worst team and that they will never win. They have no problem telling the girls what they are doing wrong, including telling injured players that they must "pretend" to be happy when forced to sit in the freezing cold. There is absolutely nothing positive about their coaching styles. Kirkland is the worst in public, yelling in huddles during games all the negative things she can think of. Meg is more brilliant because she does it behind closed doors, so it's her word against the players. How they treat the support staff is another story that isn't mine. The girls are so mentally beaten; there is no longer a light in their eyes when talking about lacrosse. It is devastating how defeated they are and how little the coaching staff seems to care. An assistant coach was overheard telling the goalie, " you suck and need to do better" after a game. How is that helpful?
If you are a parent and your daughter is considering choosing Xavier and Meg Decker, please do not let her. She promises everything under the sun and cannot hold up her end of the bargain. There were many problems during the 2023-2024 season, but at least they were winning. It is in your daughter's best interest to avoid Meg, Kirkland, and their assistants. Xavier had the highest amount of players transferring out last year, and it won't be surprising when it happens again.
To the girls in the program, I'm so sorry you are going through this. We see you and know you deserve better.
To Xavier Athletics, please do something! These coaches are not worth these girls' mental health and the humiliation this program is currently bringing to this school. For lacrosse to be a profitable sport, we need to win. That will not happen under Coach Decker and Lewis. "
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