Xavier University

"She was hired at Annapolis Area Christian School in Maryland as their new Lacrosse Coach and Athletic Director"

"For a long time, I chose not to leave a public comment about Meg Decker. Maybe it was because the most healing thing I could do for myself was simply move on … from the torment, from the toxicity … and focus on becoming the role model I desperately needed during that chapter of my life. When I was first recruited, I saw something in her. I thought she could be someone to look up to. Someone who would teach me how to navigate adulthood with strength, professionalism, and friendship. I followed that belief blindly for far too long. I made excuses for her. I defended her to my family, whom she disrespected in a handful of scenarios. To my friends, who watched me return from practices and games emotionally drained and defeated. And even to my teammates, who experienced the same pain I did. For many years, she placed me on a pedestal, called me her favorite project, gave me leadership roles, had me act as a social bridge between her and the team, told me secrets and fears and personal opinions. I even shared a brief friendship with her once I graduated. For so long I convinced myself she must’ve seen something in me. I thought maybe she had a vision no one else could see, and that was enough for me to justify the harm. What I see now is that none of it was about me, it was about her. Every “investment” she made in me was transactional. I wasn’t being mentored. I was being manipulated. Groomed to play a role in the story she was writing about herself… a redemption arc, a misunderstood genius, a hero forged through struggle. It was never about building others up, only about building her own myth. I wished her well on her journey to Xavier and hoped that she had learned from her mistakes. When I learned that she had not only stayed the same, but gotten worse… I believed karma would eventually catch up. And sure, her being fired is pretty fair karma to me. I thought her being fired from Xavier might finally break the cycle of confusion and tainted sports careers… That she would hang her coaching hat and make an effort to soul search with her God, look in the mirror and identify why she is the subject of so many people’s therapy sessions. But it seems she will be pursuing another coaching gig maybe not at the collegiate level but none the less young women and girls. And I think knowing that she is still finding ways to manipulate her way into these types of professions compels me to say something. So, this is a warning to anyone who enters her circle: proceed with caution. She often spoke of her “hero’s journey,” her desire for an origin story rooted in struggle and trauma. And yes, she has endured her share of hardship. I don’t take that away from her. But I have yet to see her truly rise from the chaos she has partially been responsible for creating. There’s a dangerous pattern in people who are convinced they’re on a righteous path. Many believe that if they just keep going, eventually the world will understand their mission. But what they fail to see (or perhaps don’t care to acknowledge) is the destruction they leave behind. They’ll weaponize sympathy, manipulate perception, and create a broken environment just so that they can play savior. That, in my eyes, is who Meg Decker is! I have plenty of stories that could illustrate her absurd tactics, psychological warfare, and generally petty disposition .. however I think there is more than enough on this page (and I can attest to of many of the stories here) I will just say this.. Please (if you’re a parent) do your research. Coaches aren’t just instructors, they become some of the most powerful influences in a young player’s life, for better or for worse. They shape how young women see themselves, how they handle pressure, how they define strength, and how they learn to trust authority. I cannot stress this enough: Meg Decker should not be ANYWHERE near impressionable young girls. The emotional manipulation, the mind games, the way she chips away at self-worth while disguising it as “tough love” is not development, it is damaging. Your daughter deserves a mentor who will build her up, not one who sees her as a pawn in a personal narrative. Some people love the thrill of twisted individuals - I’ve just grown tired from it. If you’ve done your research and still choose to associate with her, that’s a choice you’ll have to live with. But understand this: in her pursuit of a hero’s journey, she’s left behind a trail of emotional wreckage that too many people are still recovering from. She didn’t just shape athletes, she shattered identities under the guise of mentorship. That’s not coaching. That’s abuse."

"Like many parents and athletes, we were initially impressed by what Meg Decker presented during the recruiting process. She spoke with confidence and vision, and we wanted to believe in the potential of a growing program. However, shortly after our daughter began her first year, we started hearing troubling accounts that raised serious concerns. Our daughter described a coaching environment marked by disorganization, minimal communication, and an unusual coaching style that often felt more like psychological manipulation than mentorship. At first, we gave the benefit of the doubt—hoping things would improve with time—but the issues only compounded. Fundamental skills like clearing, catching, and ball control were persistent challenges for the team. Despite the struggles, there was no structured review of game footage—Coach Decker openly stated she didn’t believe in film review. Players who wanted to improve had to take the initiative to watch games on their own through streaming platforms. Several assistant coaches who seemed genuinely invested in the team’s success left, citing an unworkable coaching environment. In her second year, Coach Decker brought on her significant other, who had no prior lacrosse coaching experience. His unclear role and overly casual demeanor blurred professional boundaries, creating further discomfort. Eventually, he was barred from being near the team—though the reasons were never made public, it was clearly not a positive development. By the end of the 2024 season, nearly half the team had transferred or entered the portal—one of the highest turnover rates in Division I women’s lacrosse. While the university appeared to take notice, Coach Decker remained in place. During the 2025 season, her disengagement became even more apparent. She missed two games entirely, with no explanation—an unacceptable level of professionalism at the D1 level. The university has since parted ways with Coach Decker. In our view, this was a necessary step. While she may have been a capable player, coaching—especially at the collegiate level—requires leadership, communication, and the ability to foster growth and resilience in young athletes. Unfortunately, many players under her leadership felt the opposite: that their love for the game was diminished. With her departure, there is a renewed sense of hope and energy among the team. We’re optimistic that the program can now move forward in a healthier, more supportive direction."

"My name is Kathy Sage..I am the psycho parent referenced in a recent post. My daughter was the Grad Student. That post was written by the coaches boyfriend. I'm not hiding behind anonymity. Let's tell the real story. 1 student, my daughters girlfriend was cut without warning. The referenced video was of her in 8th grade saying something regrettable. The video has been shopped to every coach this girl has contacted and every boss out there. It is taken without context and it was never discussed before cutting her. That is a horrible leader who would take things from a malicious tipster without asking for an explanation from the accused. It was never a part of Decker cutting that teammate. Plus, if she were not D1 worthy, then the coach shouldn't have recruited her...but that is Decker's MO...telling everyone that they are not D1 worthy. SHE, DECKER...is the one who is not D1 worthy! Decker wanted my daughter's attention solely for herself. She had an assistant coach tell my daughter that if the other player got in the way, the coaching staff would take care of it. My daughter had no idea what they meant. Then her girlfriend was cut 3 months later. Then Decker told my daughter casually around that time, that she could see herself in a relationship with a woman, making my daughter extremely uncomfortable. My daughter definitely pulled away a bit and became closer to the team. Decker thanked my daughter for leading the team to complete the running test that fall, that sent one girl to the hospital and that many others failed to complete. My daughter played for that coach with mono that year and the coach was pissed she had to sit out and refused to start her after she was medically cleared. My daughter won a Big East award and had to beg for the award to be given to her and given a lecture by the coaches boyfriend about how she needed to be a better teammate. We went to the banquet that day and the coach and boyfriend avoided me . The next day she was cut from the team. My exit letter to Decker's actions was honest and scathing and she laminated and paraded it around the field. She didn't like me reacting to her so her husband calls me a psycho...I'm good with that. The coaches husband tried to buy drugs from my daughter at one point that semester, in text which was the beginning of his firing from Xavier. Decker told everyone I threatened her and had me removed from 2 games by campus police. Then she had my daughter removed for visiting the campus when she saw her. My daughter owns a house nearby so she has business in Cincy. My daughter bought that house at 23...but Decker said she had no leadership skills. I never threatened Decker...I just knew if I had gone and confronted her face to face she would have had me arrested. She kind of proved my point...attending a game was a lot less volatile...but I guess I read Decker correctly. I was team mother, friend, I compiled food-trains during Matts first bout with cancer...I sent her care packages, trinkets, texts of support that I thought she was doing a great job even though she was not on par. We went out to lunch, and she even told me it was the first time she went to lunch with a parent. We were pals. I used her realtor, I gave her advice about the real estate, and about living in an RV on acreage which she showed interest in doing. Ya know, things that you do when you like each other. She has never been an effective coach...but she had always tried. I was never in a place to be her critic so I just supported her. The only person who would know about the video they mention in the previous post was Decker and Matt because it would be completely unscrupulous to share something like that with parents...especially without speaking with the girl that was cut...about it...EVER. And the only person who could ever think I was psycho..is the person who didn't like hearing the truth in private letter form. When she was fired...it was like a firestorm on my texts to tell me the wicked witch was dead...those parents didn't think I was psycho! I reacted to the way she treated my daughter and me and all of her victims...if she didn't like that, she should have done better! Much better! I'm out!"

"Coach Decker coached me at University of Hartford. Meg Decker is an honest person with good intentions. However, during her time at Hartford, she lacked professionalism and often tried to mix concepts of "business models," psychological theories and political views into our training as division I athletes. This approach did not help us succeed. She cried after we lost a game against Holy Cross, while we were still on the field, while telling us that "our business was failing." This was a complete projection of her shortcomings as a program leader. There were many dramatic moments on this team, perpetuated by coaching staff and especially perpetuated by Decker, that caused our team to suffer. Many players entered practice in "fight or flight" mode, prepared to be forced to reps until they finally succeeded. Obviously this method of training was not effective because we continued to lose. And yes, there was an incident where marijuana was brought on a team trip, a concerned player brought this to coaching staff, and Decker brushed it under the rug and allowed this player, who brought drugs to our in-conference game against UMBC, to remain on the team. This was before the drug was legalized in Connecticut or Maryland. For the people that claim that she was just trying to get her footing... she had years at Hartford to learn how to do this. After experiencing division I level coaching under a new staff, I can say that Decker's coaching style was not productive compared to what the rest of the NCAA has to offer. I can say nothing about what happened at Xavier. However, when there is such intense discourse about whether a coach is a good leader or not, it is safe to say that the coach has some responsibility for the reputation he/she has gained. "

"definitely has some shortcomings as a tactician and head coach but operates with good intent. plenty of small mistakes here and there while trying to gain footing as a new program, most of which could be foregiven or overcome. however, one massive miscalculation led to the relentless spread cancerous gossip and childish attempts to undermine the growth of program. in a foolhearted attempt to improve the team culture, decker cut an entitled player with an inflated sense of self and little to no ability to carry themself as a d1 athlete, on or off the field (one minor example can be found on twitter/x......a self-made video of the player originally posted to snapchat.....casually using the "n-word"......while simultaneously being an over-privileged caucasian girl). reasonable people are probably wondering, "how is the removal of this player a negative!?!?!". Simple. Said removed players' girlfriend was still on the team -- a graduate student, no less, with the kind of emotional regulation you’d expect from someone who thinks “drama” is a leadership style. decker ignorantly understimated the blinding psycopathy this graduate student, and her parents, would display now that her lover was off the team. coach decker had an innate ability to draw maximum effort and energy out of her players......sadly, these efforts would only appear immediately after a player was removed from the roster. if only she could have found a way to draw those efforts out while these girls were still associated with the program. those of us around the program have witnessed how much easier it is to tear something down rather than build it up. regardless, probably best for all parties involved this chapter has come to a close."

"All I can say is that April 29, 2025 is the best day in the lives of women's lacrosse at Xavier University. They finally fired Meg Decker and all of her staff. I have hope for the Xavier athletic program from here on out!!! It's gonna get better from here!"

" When you first meet Meg, she says all the right things to make you believe in her and her program. She will do and say anything to get support and recruit players. However, what has transpired this year is genuinely appalling. She hired Kirkland Lews, an associate head coach who handles everything on the field during practice, while Meg handles more "administrative" things like recruiting. She has missed two games without explaining why to the players; players didn't know she wasn't coming until they were already on the field for warmups. Outside of this, she and Kirkland specifically are very knowledgeable about the game of lacrosse, however their coaching skills do not translate. I have never heard coaches give so much negative criticism with zero constructiveness. They are both manipulators and need to be let go. All the girls hear is that they suck, this is the worst team and that they will never win. They have no problem telling the girls what they are doing wrong, including telling injured players that they must "pretend" to be happy when forced to sit in the freezing cold. There is absolutely nothing positive about their coaching styles. Kirkland is the worst in public, yelling in huddles during games all the negative things she can think of. Meg is more brilliant because she does it behind closed doors, so it's her word against the players. How they treat the support staff is another story that isn't mine. The girls are so mentally beaten; there is no longer a light in their eyes when talking about lacrosse. It is devastating how defeated they are and how little the coaching staff seems to care. An assistant coach was overheard telling the goalie, " you suck and need to do better" after a game. How is that helpful? If you are a parent and your daughter is considering choosing Xavier and Meg Decker, please do not let her. She promises everything under the sun and cannot hold up her end of the bargain. There were many problems during the 2023-2024 season, but at least they were winning. It is in your daughter's best interest to avoid Meg, Kirkland, and their assistants. Xavier had the highest amount of players transferring out last year, and it won't be surprising when it happens again. To the girls in the program, I'm so sorry you are going through this. We see you and know you deserve better. To Xavier Athletics, please do something! These coaches are not worth these girls' mental health and the humiliation this program is currently bringing to this school. For lacrosse to be a profitable sport, we need to win. That will not happen under Coach Decker and Lewis. "

"This team is headed nowhere good with Meg Decker as the head coach. The girls do not need a manipulator or degrader. They need someone that is going to support them on and off the field, and that is something Meg will never be able to do for them. They need constructive criticism that will HELP and SHOW on the field. Action needs to be taken to relieve the girls of this woman, and start them on a new path to success. Meg is not only a bad coach, she is a bad person and the girls deserve more from this program. "

"It’s very difficult to pick 5 things to describe Coach Decker when there are only 2 negative choices. I don’t know where to start but how can you demand anything of your players when you have already missed two of the first ten games of the season. She is not a serious coach and is more sociopath than anything else. The comments from all of the other parents are spot on. Xavier will lead D1 lacrosse in two stats this year. 1. Transfers (this will be the second year for that accolade. 2. Missed games by a head coach. Either the admin doesn’t know how bad she is or they just don’t care. Prove us wrong G Anthony."

"Coach Decker is quickly leading this team to complete disaster. Many would say that they are already there. She cannot coach. She provides negative feedback after negative feedback to her team. There is never any constructive feedback, it is always what is wrong, with no advice/coaching/support to improve on what is not going well. She does not compliment or praise for anything. She has recently told the team that they will never win with the team in front of her. The team has some talent but the girls are beat down, defeated, and in desperate need of a COACH who will help them improve, support them, and give them appropriate (non-belittling) feedback. The mental health is suffering greatly with these players and no, they never will play well under her as a coach. They are completely beat up and exhausted of the lack of support, mind games, and simple lack of coaching. It is time that Xavier cuts their losses and moves on from Coach Decker. "

"She tried at Hartford for years and failed to get wins. She has two years under her belt at Xavier and has failed to get wins. Year three starting off the same. Team doesn't need a psychologist or motivational speaker. They need a coach that can craete plays, have the team practice, then implement in games. If she can't come up with any, lean on the asst. coaches or just take the plays from the team that just beat you. Too haphazard out there on the fiield with way too many turnovers in the O-zone."

"Worst coach I've ever had by FAR and an overall scumbag"

"Meg Decker is the 11th worst D1 Coach of women’s lacrosse teams in the NCAA and she picks up Kirkland Lewis, who was fired from Furman mid-year in 2024 after almost 2 years of coaching there while being the 47th worst coach in the D1 women’s lacrosse world. All other coaches are gone. Matt was fired for a Title IX violation and the others contract ended. Rumors swirl when facts get blurred by leadership and sometimes those rumors become fact. It’s a cespool of incompetence and turning a blind eye and a deaf ear. It’s on the verge becoming a failed program and Meg can shoulder that blame. Don’t expect to get 4 years there."

"I would advise anyone who wants to play for her to reconsider. Although she was motivational, she was extremely exclusive and created a very negative environment on the team. I personally had wildly negative experiences with her and was once told that I was in responsible for my class’s behavior because I “had it easier than the rest of them”. She is a performative person with little interest in anything that does not benefit her and had a VERY negative impact on my mental health. She is the reason I decided not to play lacrosse after my first year. "

"I wish I could give negative stars for this mess. Caring? Not in our time, but she pretends for the cameras. She's good for showing up for the cameras and putting on her own show. Motivational? She could be if she didn't coach in such a condescending, defeating way. Knowledgeable? Of the game, maybe. Of coaching, No. She has no idea how to coach a team to victory. She teaches in practice, builds some up, pits other teammates against each other then can't coach effectively during a game, forgets what she said in practice, changes everything and loses badly. It's her pattern. I was so excited to be on this team when I first got here and that fall went well but then everything just imploded. She is very interested in telling us her stories but she wants nothing to do with anyone else's. Her boyfriend Matt is the assistant now and he is such a bad person. He is so egotistical and takes all the credit for a player getting an award even tho she came in a better player than he could ever coach. He has no experience and no talent and no personality other than yelling at and undermining players. The portal shows 11 people...but more graduated out or just quit. Having Coach Decker and Matt as coaches is like swimming laps with them holding your head under water and not letting you breathe until they are ready. Then you watch them laugh at you and tell the admin they got you to lap the whole pool in record time and even tho you lost it was the best heat the team ever had. Just Don't"

"Very motivated to win, puts everything else aside to do so. Does not care about players mental health, strains players far beyond limits, poor relationships with assistant coaches and cannot keep assistants on the staff. Removes players that don’t agree with her philosophy even when they are in the right. Hard to appease, makes you feel like it’s all your fault. Incredibly manipulative. "

"Meg decker should be flagged by the NCAA. Under Meg Deckers coaching my mental health flew right out the window. Constantly made false narratives about me and my person. Made false rumors around the team, would constantly find anything negative to point out and never gave clear instruction. She would always pin the blame on anything other than herself after giving zero instruction or accurate coaching. Gave horrible goalie coaching advice to our goalkeepers, ruined the team consistency, and would put up a front. Doesn’t care for players well-being, will put anything on the back burners and say it’s not important. Will attack players and call them horrible people. Will talk behind players backs. Will say the reason for someone having a bad day is because they’re not in therapy. Will talk bad about her husband directly to the team. Will create chaos and do nothing to help. Will make up false reasonings for why things went bad. The only reason Decker is coaching is to BRING IN MONEY FOR THE SCHOOL. She has zero good experience as a coach. Made a horrible program at Hartford and used Xavier as a scape goat. There is a reason why more than HALF the team left after the 2023-24 season. Reach out to players and ask for the TRUTH. Save your kids, your money, and your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. Nothing good to say about her other than she knows how to talk. Do not be fooled. There’s also a reason why she can’t keep staff. She’s awful to work with too. Treats everyone around her like a CRUMB. If she isn’t stealing your money, she doesn’t CARE. She doesn’t know how to build a team culture, odd enough as that’s her JOB? Doesn’t know how to DRAW UP A SINGLE PLAY. We never used the white board the ENTIRE SEASON. Never had a coach that didn’t make their OWN play on their OWN white board. UNPROFESSIONAL. "

"The honey moon ended when I got on Xavier campus. Head games, silent treatments, withholding earned play time, passive aggressive behavior and pitting teammates against each other is how the season went. The coach and her husband seem to have been mad for the past 4 months. Today, almost half of the team decided to go into the transfer portal. She tried to get some of the freshmen to think about it more and to stay. 15 players won't be enough to have a team next year so she is desperate. Regret something else in life but not your decision of where to go to play lacrosse. Xavier wants to back her and ignore the problems, but I think this might change their minds. If it doesn't, then they deserve to lose the millions she just cost them by being the kind of coach she is, and they sure don't deserve your money."

"our recruiting experience was great. she connected with us and my daughter. we felt it was a good match. last year was the first year for xavier to have lacrosse. it was exciting as everything was new. the coaches/staff as a whole were fantastic. fast forward to fall of 2023. the assistant coach, who was amazing, left. two grad assistants hired. one quit in december. the other has no guidance or idea how to coach. it's not totally her fault. there is nobody to mentor her. decker's domestic partner was hired to replace the assistant who left. he has never played lacrosse and has no coaching experience. meg decker is a completely different person from who we originally met. she plays head games with the players. the coaching staff is passive aggressive. they choose to tear players down rather than build them up. she plays favorites and pitted the incoming freshman class against the previous class who started the program. the communication has been awful. there are so many examples i could give as to why i am giving a poor recommendation, but it would take too long. the bottom line is this woman is not a good role model, coach, or person for your daughters to play for. i hope this review helps others to go down a different path."

"She is pretty much as manipulative as a coach gets. If you bring an issue up to her, instead of helping she will cry and make it about her and how you did wrong. She plays head games with the team and really messes with the girl's confidence. I only played with her for a year a Hartford but I watched her tear apart some of the best people I ever met. She focuses on all of the wrong things and is always changing her mind on what's important, but tells you that you are the one with the changing mind, not her. She will tell you to get ready to go in just to humiliate you as you stand in the sub box and she never subs you in. She will play you as a freshman, then slowly learn to hate you, and once she has an opinion of you it never changes. I remember running a run test every Monday until the whole team passed her set time. One girl simply couldn't pass after weeks of running it and Decker made her feel so bad about it and pushed her to quit the team so the team could move on from the run test and Decker wouldn't have to backtrack from her "Everyone has to pass to stop running it" rule. She's a terrible coach and person. I am not surprised by any of the horror stories on this page and they all sound exactly like her. I don't think I personally know any people who played for her that still like her. Take what she says with a grain of salt"

"We have started our Spring season and we already have girls talking about transferring or quitting altogether. ROTC practices on top of 20 hour weeks and why? We have a run test but the results don't matter. Same run test as last semester that sent one girl to the hospital who still hasn't been cleared to play. The team culture is brutal and I am one of the liked players. It isn't the way things are supposed to be. Now her baby daddy, who she told everyone was her husband but I guess, he isn't, has been hired to help on the field even though he has no lacrosse experience. He's mean. She's mean. Another assistant coach quit at the beginning of this semester. She was just hired last fall. That means the entire staff is unproven and inexperienced. I'm not sure where we go from here. Too much negativity. I hope we can pull this season off but there are a lot of obstacle. It's depressing."

"I know that there are a lot of drastically different reviews about Meg. My suggestion to any players who might be considering playing for her is that you do your research. Find out why so many of her players at Hartford strongly dislike her and why the program at Xavier has been a disaster. Talk to players who have played for her longer than a year. It is easy to fall in love with her as a coach and person at the beginning, but I promise eventually you will see her for who she really is. Don’t just listen to the players who played for her during one camp or were recently recruited. Talk to players who have stood by her for years and she has still treated like crap. Talk to her old assistant coaches. Talk to players who left her programs and ask them the hard questions. Because trust me you don’t want to give your life to a woman who will manipulate you and lie to your face. Please just don’t be naive and do your research. Don’t be fooled. "

"Have you seen the movie ‘Horrible Bosses’ and are you familiar with Jennifer Aniston’s character? That is Coach Decker. Puts on a great front. Absolutely evil when you get to know her. "

"Meg Decker is amazing. I wouldn’t want anyone else coaching my daughter. She wants to develop her players to be the best they can be on and off the field. Love her."

"This site acts like a puppet show to an egotistical coach like Decker. Someone talks about planted reviews and they run to get one past athlete who was on the team for a year to post. Then someone says something about likes and they start a campaign to get likes on their posts. They went from 5 to 69 likes in a day on one of them. That’s an amazing waste of time. That’s a club team there. Decker is a disorganized and a sad excuse for a coach. She is not D1 quality and will never have a successful D1 team. She has no friends but a lot of people who are buffaloed by her. Her presentation has been pretty good. The front is falling off quickly and her desperation shows on this site. "

"Erratic leadership, shaming of players, unchecked ego, putting recruiting classes against one another, lack of accountability from the athletic department, if a player speaks up to Meg she is told she is the problem… when she turns to someone else for support this coach gets emotional that she’s being betrayed. Absolutely insane & dysfunctional coaching approach but so insidious it takes a long time to be seen clearly. If anyone else does a good job supporting the players, they won’t be allowed to stay long because they expose her lack of authentic care. "

"Meg is not an X&O coach. Players do what ever they wanton the field and off the field . Decker doesn’t think she should be involved with players lives."

"Coach Decker speaks at you, not to you or with you. She doesn’t hear you. She always acts like she is teaching you something in her condescending way as if she is so old and wise. She uses the same methods to tell you that you are incompetent. She Just shakes her head and says you know you won’t play for me again. She puts you in tears and then puts you in to play when it suits her. Real head games. She pulls you into doing a ton of extra work for leadership and individuals and then lies and says that you didn’t do any of it and ignores your work and abilities. It’s really just constant head games. She does the same to her current and former staff members. It’s so unhealthy. She has the lacrosse community buffaloed. Don’t let that be you."

"Fact is that the Louisville coach was fired in 2017 for abusing her team. Fact is that same coach was coach Deckers sisters coach at JMU. That coach required two teammates to sign a contract that prohibited both from communicating with each other. Coach decker didn’t do that. She just cut two players after they became close. She told one of them that she would end the friendship if it got to be too much, whatever that is, and she cut one last spring and then the other this fall. Decker likes to tell players they aren’t committed and not D1 quality after players receive D1 accolades, just like the Louisville coach. Decker has 1/2 a team looking at transferring and she is more worried about planting good reviews here than fixing the problems on the team. She has been presented with three pages of problems that the entire team submitted and It’s all about her image, not about the well being of the team or Xavier. Look at the likes on the posts. Those are important. She has scared most of the kids into silence. It’s time to talk. "

"I have the privilege of playing for one of the best coaches I have ever met. Her ability to command to instill confidence and unity towards a common goal is truly remarkable. She was consistently upbeat and optimistic, and her positive attitude was overwhelming. Roster of 35-40 young women and ONLY 3-5 of them spew negativity.....by my math she must be doing something right."

"Here's the deal, if you are in favor with Coach Decker, you'll have fun...like everyone else who has ever been in her short-lived favor! It won't last! She will use you as best as she can for her own benefit and make you feel like you are the beneficiary! Beware! If you don't conform to what she wants and the people she choses for you to associate with, you will be out of favor...immediately and forever. She does not communicate the truth well and she loves to create drama. She talks a big game and promises the world but delivers below average coaching and team culture. She has a team that goes to admin often to find relief and retaliates for that. That's not good. Her practices are often good when she has them organized, which isn't often...but when she gets to the game, her coaching fails. She forgets to sub or my favorite...the team is ahead by four and she changes what is going on on the field and they don't score again. Watch her films. It's really a sad thing to see since I think it's within her to do better but for some reason, she just can't. There are a few who have been there a year and had a great experience. More power to those girls and their relationships with her. Good luck! I've known her for 6 years and would never do it again! She presented herself as a different person every year and I'm exhausted trying to figure her out! I was a team mom and had a closer relationship with her than most. That was my downfall. She went from hot to cold in a day! My daughter was cut after winning a Big East award because she fell out of favor for associating with a team mate that the coach didn't like...after following the coach for her entire college life (included 2 schools) . We even had to beg to receive her award after the yearly banquet. It was insane. I'm excited for my daughter now because she now has the opportunity to play for a team where she can be appreciated without the stress of who her coach would be today. I haven't seen my daughter this confident and well in years and I'm mad at myself for not seeing the affects earlier. You do what you want as far as committing to Coach Deckers team"

"While decker is very knowledgeable and nobody can deny that fact. I would have to say her ability to provide and execute is more than lacking. I was enticed to come and play for her, and never transferred. Time and time again i was belittled and told I wasn’t good enough to be on the team. Which to be clear… if that was the case I don’t understand how I was still on the team. However, I stuck through and made sure to put forth my best effort. I also had some struggles with fin aid at one point, and she told me “I hope you figure it out, i don’t want you to end up living in the basement of your moms house” .. On top of that when a teammate had a crisis moment and i called public safety, i was reprimanded and told that it wasn’t the right time and i was being dramatic.. after being told “Call the police first and me second” which she also did not answer. I could continue to go on and on but the bottom line is that she could be really great, she’s just selfish, and if she doesn’t like you? good luck. "

"I completed my career with Decker, making me a former player. I somehow, some way became the first and only person to escape "unscathed". In fact, she greatly inspired my career choice.......wait for it......within lacrosse! "

"Coach Decker is undoubtedly the best coach my daughter has ever had. She possesses an incredible ability to impart her lacrosse wisdom to her athletes while also creating a supportive environment that nurtures their mental and emotional well-being. Furthermore, Coach Decker encourages creativity and solicits feedback, which allows her athletes to grow into well-rounded individuals. Despite her overwhelmingly positive and supportive attitude, Coach Decker's biggest weakness is her willingness to forgive and forget. However, her commitment to improving herself and those around her is unwavering, and she consistently demonstrates an unparalleled level of dedication to her athletes. Couldn't imagine a better mentor for my daughter."

"Coach Decker is an exemplar of leadership, mentorship, and integrity to every athlete under her tutelage at Xavier. Throughout my tenure on her team, I have witnessed firsthand her unwavering commitment to fostering personal and athletic growth in her players. Playing under her guidance has been an unparalleled experience in my life, and I wholeheartedly recommend her to anyone seeking to attain excellence on and off the field. Coach Decker's coaching philosophy is exceptional, and she invests herself fully in the development of her players. She is an incredible coach who not only imparts her lacrosse wisdom but also provides a supportive environment that nurtures her athletes' mental and emotional well-being. Her training regimens are innovative, and tailored to meet the unique needs of her athletes and optimize their performance. In addition, Coach Decker encourages creativity and solicits feedback, which enables her players to grow into well-rounded individuals."

"Throughout my time on her team, Coach Decker has been a role model and mentor to every player on her roster. If you want to be the best person and player you can be, you should definitely play for Decker. She is an incredible coach who has grown and evolved over the years. Decker helps you on and off the field in all ways possible. She creates leaders and helps people achieve their goals in all aspects of life. She is like a friend who is honest and still pushes you to be your best. Coach Decker asks for the best version of you every day. She develops practice plans that cater to taking care of her athletes in ways that haven't been done before. I could go on all day about how much she goes out of her way to take care of the people around her. "

"Meg Decker is about one thing. And that is Meg Decker. She uses made up stats to trick everyone into thinking she knows what she’s doing and distract them from seeing what is really going on. Her teams are never prepared for games, they do not get better as individuals and they will continue to lose games at an alarming rate because of her incompetence as a “leader.” More than that, because college lacrosse is not just about winning and losing, Meg Decker is terrible and should not be in charge of college student-athletes. She lies and then lies more because she cannot keep track of her lies. She uses team funds for her own travel, unrelated to lacrosse but under the guise she is “recruiting” or “running a clinic.” Gaslighting is such an overused term these days but that is EXACTLY what she does. She thrives on drama, disorganization and disfunction. That is NO environment for a student-athlete. She undermines her staff and players and causes friction amongst the group. The environment she has created is one of mistrust and fear, yet she preaches the opposite. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t fall for her long winded speeches or social media posts. The fact that she still has a job coaching college lacrosse is a JOKE. "

"The epitome of a role model and mentor to each and every player on her roster."

"Coach Decker has shown me the true meaning of integrity and leadership throughout my time on her team. Often, a college coach is faced with the challenge of navigating entitled children who are accompanied by delusional parents. Coach Decker has navigated these situations wonderfully as she continues to display integrity and confidence while she caters to the wants and needs of the majority, rather than being bullied by the minority. As a young woman, I have learned so much from the way Coach Decker handles difficult situations and consistently maintains her composure. She has taken every obstacle in stride and manages to bring a positive attitude to each and every practice. If you want to be the best person and player you can be you should definitely play for decker."

"Every negative adjective that you can think of describes this man. His dishonesty extends past his teams and into his family life. Doesn’t know the game, abusive to players, should not be a leader of young men. Lacks integrity, morals, and respect from players and coaching peers."

"She is super caring and cool and she helps players in all ways she can. She goes the extra mile in every way and is always up for feedback. She pushes you to be your best and cares about mental health more then most coaches. She is creative and inspires her players to be the same. She also cares a lot about leadership and helps people succeed beyond lacrosse. I loved playing for decker and would do it again in a heart beat. She is one of a kind."

"Coach decker is incredible. I’ve played for her when she was a new coach and was growing and maybe wasn’t so great and now I play for her when she’s figured out what type of coach she really wants to be and let me tell you she’s one of a kind. She helps you on and off the field in all ways no matter what or when it is. She creates leaders and helps people achieve e their goals in all ways. She’s like a friend who is honest and pushes you to be your best. She asks for the best version of you everyday and is understanding of mental health issues and is set on helping in all ways she can. She develops practice plans to cater to taking care of her athletes in ways that haven’t been done before. I could go on all day about how much decker goes out of her way to take care of the people around her. She also is brilliantly minded when it comes to lacrosse and she allows and pushes each player to be creative and is responsive to feedback. There is no coach in the NCAA like her and she is changing the game. If I could have 4 more years playing for her I would do it in a heartbeat. If you want to be the best person and player you can be you should definitely play for decker."

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"- this was not the coach who recruited me but I imagine he is upfront and honest"

"- this was not the coach who recruited me but I imagine he is upfront and honest"

"When you first meet Coach Decker she will charm you and your daughter but do not let it fool you. She is the exact opposite of what she appears to be. She is manipulative, rude, condescending, belittles her athletes, and is abusive with her power. She will pull girls from playing and give them zero feedback on why they aren’t playing and what they can do to improve. There is a reason she lost a third of her team last year and many are already talking about leaving while only 3 games into the season. At times her associate head coach, Kirkland Lewis speaks up but it seems like she is even losing her say and Decker continues to manipulate it all. And look at Xavier’s record…they are horrible. It is a shame because it is a great group of young women and families. I am shocked that a good Jesuit university like Xavier would put up with her awful behavior that goes against all of their core university beliefs. "

"I played for Meg Decker for two years, after the second year I decided to enter the transfer portal solely because of her. My freshman year (the first year of the program) was great in comparison to the second year. I felt cared for, valued, and like this program was going to be a contender for championships. At the start of the second year everything began to fall apart. We had 5 girls either quit, transfer, or get cut at the end of the first semester. We also lost two assistant coaches during this first semester as well. Including the one from my first year that everyone adored. We had a run test that sent one of our girls to the hospital and the head coach did not address it at all. Essentially just ignored it and moved on. We had our end of semester meetings and Decker did not address my playing whatsoever. She told me that I need to sleep more and focus on my nutrition and when I asked about where she saw me playing on the field she avoided the answer and told me just to be myself. Fast forward to spring semester and we had girls talking about leaving right off the bat. Decker hired her boyfriend/domestic partner (she said they were not married and that is why she could hire him, she had been with him multiple years and has a kid with him) who has never played lacrosse as an assistant coach. He is mean and did not care about the success of the program or the development of the players. He yelled at us consistently and undermined Decker constantly, at one point calling her retarded to players at practice. We had ROTC workouts starting at 6 in the morning during our training weeks. We had a team retreat where they took us to a hotel for a weekend and our assistant coach brought her boyfriend to the hotel with her for the night. Decker left for an entire weekend and no one told the team, they did not address it. I think my breaking point with this whole embarrassment of a program came when I asked her if I could be put on the draw more since I was not playing as much in other areas. She told me she was surprised that I wanted to be in this position (I took draws the entire first year and hold records with them). She then proceeded to tell me that she forgets about me and that was why I was not playing. I could go on and on and I kept a log during the year of everything that they told us and things that happened not only to me but others as well and it was 40 pages long. Moral of the story is that if you value your mental health, enjoyment in the sport, and playing career you should not play for this woman. She plays head games, manipulates players, gaslights you into thinking that you are the problem, and tells you that if you feel like you want to quit it is completely normal (it is not). Xavier as a whole is a decent place to be, academically I was in a good spot, I felt supported by the academic advisor for our team, and athletically you are in competitive conference with facilities to support you. I did not want to leave Xavier and it is a shame that the reason I wanted to go there was also the reason I wanted to leave. "

"I played for Decker and am so glad I managed to escape her. Most of the positive reviews on this page are written by her (Cruel) husband as they panicked seeing many of their players use this avenue to keep other potential players from meeting the same depressing and demoralizing fate of playing for her. She manipulates and gaslights you to bring you down so she can control you, she kills your self-worth and tells you this is "normal" and what all teams are like, and that hers is better than the rest. I thought that might be true until I watched my friends leave and I finally did as well, and life is so much better without her and I've realized how much more terrible she was than I ever knew. I'm finally happy to go to practice and play lacrosse now that I'm away from her artistic and twisted insults and culture. She pins players against each other. She doesn't know much about the sport, and many college coaches I talk to said they see players who come from her as "tainted" due to the lack of correct teachings and the emotional baggage they hold from her. She speaks pretty ideas to get in the kindest and biggest-hearted people but is not truthful and she tears you apart as soon as you fail to do everything exactly as she says or bring any negative feedback or opposing opinions. I like to say she could talk her way out of murder because she is so good at talking but never lives up to those words. She is blind to everything around her and has no true regard for anyone else but her family. She makes you distrust yourself and question what is real and fake. I was one of her favorites for a long time and she called me "family" to many. Yet, when I brought up concerns from my teammates about how poorly things were going in the fall (2 coaches quitting because of the toxic environment, running tests that led to hospitalizations, conflicting messages, and practice plans and so much more) she cut me from the team for my "negative attitude". I (with the help and input of others) submitted an anonymous concern report to the admin about how I was worried about my teammate's mental health after getting messages from 30/36 of my teammates about issues they were worried about or having with the team. When she found out who it was, she \]said I was taking my feelings and generalizing them for everyone, then she found a way to get rid of me. I had told many this would happen because I knew how poorly she tends to react to negative feedback and lack of control of the information circulating about her team so I moved my classes to graduate early so she couldn't hurt me. Typically, I would be terrified to admit this here for fear of how she may hurt me or use it against me since she will know who this is. This is how most of her players feel about her and no I'm not just generalizing because I'm on a new team and I still get texts and phone calls every day from the players there freaking out about the new terrible thing she is doing to them each day as they ask for advice and help. Playing for her means every day is a new battle and you can never breathe, her craziness is suffocating. She has cut 4 people in a year and 9 total have left and there will be many more leaving after this year from what I have heard. She used to tell me I wasn't good enough for D1 meanwhile I got awards in the Big East for how I performed (I also got called a bad teammate for asking for my trophy when my teammates were given theirs but I was not). She is the definition of someone who believes in cruel and unusual punishment. She honestly shouldn't be allowed to coach in the NCAA or be near kids she is terrible to do any form of business with and I could write pages about why you are better off playing elsewhere. I didn't fully see the full picture of how bad she was for a long time and I'm glad I finally did and got out of there, If you value your mental health and love for the game please find another coach, she is an example of what is ruining the game of lacrosse. "

"There are many stories I have of Decker from when she coached me at Hartford, the one I think about most often is the time a teammate brought weed paraphernalia to an away game, and was using her dab pen on the team bus in front of all of us. When this issue was brought up to Coach Decker, instead of listening to the teams concerns about this player, having drugs on the bus, she got upset with the players who brought it to her attention. Instead of searching the players room and bags, she simply asked the player if she brought anything to which the player lied, and said she didn’t bring anything, after the trip Decker then made one of the players who saw the player using the dab pen on the bus apologize to said player for reporting her and the player who was caught using the dab pen, became very hostile towards this other player, putting her in an uncomfortable situation. It was known to the team that this player often partook in this reckless behavior, and had been in trouble with campus police previously for using marijuana. Many of us were personally afraid to take this to another level as a fear of being kicked off the team for standing up."

"Coach Decker thinks the game is about her. It's her hair, her strut and her mental health that counts over the mental health of her team. She gives a good speech to get you to join her lair and once you are on her field, she will chip away at your confidence as passive aggressively as possible. She is disorganized, condescending, self important and incompetent. I'm pretty sure her husband is the person giving her ratings of 5 on this site because no one who has ever played for her walks away unscathed. I'm just trying to alert you and save you from complete lacrosse devastation. Xavier is a great school but wait for her to go. Go somewhere where you can get your best D1 lacrosse experience."

"Decker is an exceptional coach who exudes care and coolness towards her players. She leaves no stone unturned in providing assistance and support to her players. She always goes the extra mile and welcomes feedback from her players. Decker is not just focused on the physical aspect of the game, but also on the mental health and well-being of her players, which sets her apart from most coaches. Her innovative ideas and creative approach inspire her players to think outside the box. She also emphasizes leadership qualities and helps her players to succeed not only in lacrosse but also in life. I had a wonderful experience playing under her guidance and would wholeheartedly do it again. Decker is truly one of a kind. "

"Killed my love for the sport, manipulated me, never wanted to listen to concerns, had a dictator mentality, prided herself in leading with fear, gaslight me, turned away my feelings, accused me of horrible fake scenarios, judged me on a made-up perception of me in her head, egotistical, narcissistic. Worst years of my college experience. "

"This coach is crazy. No one should ever play for her she is the definition of what is wrong in the NCAA in regards the mental health epidemic and is an example of a coach that doesn't care about her players and puts them through emotional, physical, and mental hell. She is manipulative and will gaslight you into thinking you are a terrible person and player. She is an incredible talker and will make you think you are valued and special and you will slowly be torn down by her in indirect ways as soon as you get to campus. Please please do not play for her save yourself it's all lies and she should not be allowed to coach anywhere in the NCAA. I have pages of examples of the terrible things she has done and no player should go through the things she will put you through. She will ruin your lacrosse career and your mental health and you deserve better."

"Pretends she cares but will crush any college athletes plans of having a nice college experience. Sent girls the the hospital for run test, cut girls who spoke up for her teammates, will say you’re a great player then not play you for things you were unaware of, could talk herself out of anything with made up stats and stories, ultimate gaslighter, pretends she knows a lot about lacrosse, got hired at Xavier from Hartford who won 1 game within 4 years, says she cares about mental help, reports students anonymously for mental health reasons for no reasons and pretends she doesn’t know who reported them, assistant coach (who every player adored) was forced out, does not give her players any gear but spends program money going to do home visits, cares more about recruits than players, lies in the recruiting process SIGNIFICANTLY Do not come here."