" When you first meet Meg, she says all the right things to make you believe in her and her program. She will do and say anything to get support and recruit players. However, what has transpired this year is genuinely appalling. She hired Kirkland Lews, an associate head coach who handles everything on the field during practice, while Meg handles more "administrative" things like recruiting. She has missed two games without explaining why to the players; players didn't know she wasn't coming until they were already on the field for warmups. Outside of this, she and Kirkland specifically are very knowledgeable about the game of lacrosse, however their coaching skills do not translate. I have never heard coaches give so much negative criticism with zero constructiveness. They are both manipulators and need to be let go. All the girls hear is that they suck, this is the worst team and that they will never win. They have no problem telling the girls what they are doing wrong, including telling injured players that they must "pretend" to be happy when forced to sit in the freezing cold. There is absolutely nothing positive about their coaching styles. Kirkland is the worst in public, yelling in huddles during games all the negative things she can think of. Meg is more brilliant because she does it behind closed doors, so it's her word against the players. How they treat the support staff is another story that isn't mine. The girls are so mentally beaten; there is no longer a light in their eyes when talking about lacrosse. It is devastating how defeated they are and how little the coaching staff seems to care. An assistant coach was overheard telling the goalie, " you suck and need to do better" after a game. How is that helpful? If you are a parent and your daughter is considering choosing Xavier and Meg Decker, please do not let her. She promises everything under the sun and cannot hold up her end of the bargain. There were many problems during the 2023-2024 season, but at least they were winning. It is in your daughter's best interest to avoid Meg, Kirkland, and their assistants. Xavier had the highest amount of players transferring out last year, and it won't be surprising when it happens again. To the girls in the program, I'm so sorry you are going through this. We see you and know you deserve better. To Xavier Athletics, please do something! These coaches are not worth these girls' mental health and the humiliation this program is currently bringing to this school. For lacrosse to be a profitable sport, we need to win. That will not happen under Coach Decker and Lewis. "

"This team is headed nowhere good with Meg Decker as the head coach. The girls do not need a manipulator or degrader. They need someone that is going to support them on and off the field, and that is something Meg will never be able to do for them. They need constructive criticism that will HELP and SHOW on the field. Action needs to be taken to relieve the girls of this woman, and start them on a new path to success. Meg is not only a bad coach, she is a bad person and the girls deserve more from this program. "

"It’s very difficult to pick 5 things to describe Coach Decker when there are only 2 negative choices. I don’t know where to start but how can you demand anything of your players when you have already missed two of the first ten games of the season. She is not a serious coach and is more sociopath than anything else. The comments from all of the other parents are spot on. Xavier will lead D1 lacrosse in two stats this year. 1. Transfers (this will be the second year for that accolade. 2. Missed games by a head coach. Either the admin doesn’t know how bad she is or they just don’t care. Prove us wrong G Anthony."

"Coach Decker is quickly leading this team to complete disaster. Many would say that they are already there. She cannot coach. She provides negative feedback after negative feedback to her team. There is never any constructive feedback, it is always what is wrong, with no advice/coaching/support to improve on what is not going well. She does not compliment or praise for anything. She has recently told the team that they will never win with the team in front of her. The team has some talent but the girls are beat down, defeated, and in desperate need of a COACH who will help them improve, support them, and give them appropriate (non-belittling) feedback. The mental health is suffering greatly with these players and no, they never will play well under her as a coach. They are completely beat up and exhausted of the lack of support, mind games, and simple lack of coaching. It is time that Xavier cuts their losses and moves on from Coach Decker. "

"When you first meet Coach Decker she will charm you and your daughter but do not let it fool you. She is the exact opposite of what she appears to be. She is manipulative, rude, condescending, belittles her athletes, and is abusive with her power. She will pull girls from playing and give them zero feedback on why they aren’t playing and what they can do to improve. There is a reason she lost a third of her team last year and many are already talking about leaving while only 3 games into the season. At times her associate head coach, Kirkland Lewis speaks up but it seems like she is even losing her say and Decker continues to manipulate it all. And look at Xavier’s record…they are horrible. It is a shame because it is a great group of young women and families. I am shocked that a good Jesuit university like Xavier would put up with her awful behavior that goes against all of their core university beliefs. "

"She tried at Hartford for years and failed to get wins. She has two years under her belt at Xavier and has failed to get wins. Year three starting off the same. Team doesn't need a psychologist or motivational speaker. They need a coach that can craete plays, have the team practice, then implement in games. If she can't come up with any, lean on the asst. coaches or just take the plays from the team that just beat you. Too haphazard out there on the fiield with way too many turnovers in the O-zone."

"Meg Decker is the 11th worst D1 Coach of women’s lacrosse teams in the NCAA and she picks up Kirkland Lewis, who was fired from Furman mid-year in 2024 after almost 2 years of coaching there while being the 47th worst coach in the D1 women’s lacrosse world. All other coaches are gone. Matt was fired for a Title IX violation and the others contract ended. Rumors swirl when facts get blurred by leadership and sometimes those rumors become fact. It’s a cespool of incompetence and turning a blind eye and a deaf ear. It’s on the verge becoming a failed program and Meg can shoulder that blame. Don’t expect to get 4 years there."

"I played for Meg Decker for two years, after the second year I decided to enter the transfer portal solely because of her. My freshman year (the first year of the program) was great in comparison to the second year. I felt cared for, valued, and like this program was going to be a contender for championships. At the start of the second year everything began to fall apart. We had 5 girls either quit, transfer, or get cut at the end of the first semester. We also lost two assistant coaches during this first semester as well. Including the one from my first year that everyone adored. We had a run test that sent one of our girls to the hospital and the head coach did not address it at all. Essentially just ignored it and moved on. We had our end of semester meetings and Decker did not address my playing whatsoever. She told me that I need to sleep more and focus on my nutrition and when I asked about where she saw me playing on the field she avoided the answer and told me just to be myself. Fast forward to spring semester and we had girls talking about leaving right off the bat. Decker hired her boyfriend/domestic partner (she said they were not married and that is why she could hire him, she had been with him multiple years and has a kid with him) who has never played lacrosse as an assistant coach. He is mean and did not care about the success of the program or the development of the players. He yelled at us consistently and undermined Decker constantly, at one point calling her retarded to players at practice. We had ROTC workouts starting at 6 in the morning during our training weeks. We had a team retreat where they took us to a hotel for a weekend and our assistant coach brought her boyfriend to the hotel with her for the night. Decker left for an entire weekend and no one told the team, they did not address it. I think my breaking point with this whole embarrassment of a program came when I asked her if I could be put on the draw more since I was not playing as much in other areas. She told me she was surprised that I wanted to be in this position (I took draws the entire first year and hold records with them). She then proceeded to tell me that she forgets about me and that was why I was not playing. I could go on and on and I kept a log during the year of everything that they told us and things that happened not only to me but others as well and it was 40 pages long. Moral of the story is that if you value your mental health, enjoyment in the sport, and playing career you should not play for this woman. She plays head games, manipulates players, gaslights you into thinking that you are the problem, and tells you that if you feel like you want to quit it is completely normal (it is not). Xavier as a whole is a decent place to be, academically I was in a good spot, I felt supported by the academic advisor for our team, and athletically you are in competitive conference with facilities to support you. I did not want to leave Xavier and it is a shame that the reason I wanted to go there was also the reason I wanted to leave. "

"I would advise anyone who wants to play for her to reconsider. Although she was motivational, she was extremely exclusive and created a very negative environment on the team. I personally had wildly negative experiences with her and was once told that I was in responsible for my class’s behavior because I “had it easier than the rest of them”. She is a performative person with little interest in anything that does not benefit her and had a VERY negative impact on my mental health. She is the reason I decided not to play lacrosse after my first year. "

"I wish I could give negative stars for this mess. Caring? Not in our time, but she pretends for the cameras. She's good for showing up for the cameras and putting on her own show. Motivational? She could be if she didn't coach in such a condescending, defeating way. Knowledgeable? Of the game, maybe. Of coaching, No. She has no idea how to coach a team to victory. She teaches in practice, builds some up, pits other teammates against each other then can't coach effectively during a game, forgets what she said in practice, changes everything and loses badly. It's her pattern. I was so excited to be on this team when I first got here and that fall went well but then everything just imploded. She is very interested in telling us her stories but she wants nothing to do with anyone else's. Her boyfriend Matt is the assistant now and he is such a bad person. He is so egotistical and takes all the credit for a player getting an award even tho she came in a better player than he could ever coach. He has no experience and no talent and no personality other than yelling at and undermining players. The portal shows 11 people...but more graduated out or just quit. Having Coach Decker and Matt as coaches is like swimming laps with them holding your head under water and not letting you breathe until they are ready. Then you watch them laugh at you and tell the admin they got you to lap the whole pool in record time and even tho you lost it was the best heat the team ever had. Just Don't"

"Very motivated to win, puts everything else aside to do so. Does not care about players mental health, strains players far beyond limits, poor relationships with assistant coaches and cannot keep assistants on the staff. Removes players that don’t agree with her philosophy even when they are in the right. Hard to appease, makes you feel like it’s all your fault. Incredibly manipulative. "

"Meg decker should be flagged by the NCAA. Under Meg Deckers coaching my mental health flew right out the window. Constantly made false narratives about me and my person. Made false rumors around the team, would constantly find anything negative to point out and never gave clear instruction. She would always pin the blame on anything other than herself after giving zero instruction or accurate coaching. Gave horrible goalie coaching advice to our goalkeepers, ruined the team consistency, and would put up a front. Doesn’t care for players well-being, will put anything on the back burners and say it’s not important. Will attack players and call them horrible people. Will talk behind players backs. Will say the reason for someone having a bad day is because they’re not in therapy. Will talk bad about her husband directly to the team. Will create chaos and do nothing to help. Will make up false reasonings for why things went bad. The only reason Decker is coaching is to BRING IN MONEY FOR THE SCHOOL. She has zero good experience as a coach. Made a horrible program at Hartford and used Xavier as a scape goat. There is a reason why more than HALF the team left after the 2023-24 season. Reach out to players and ask for the TRUTH. Save your kids, your money, and your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. Nothing good to say about her other than she knows how to talk. Do not be fooled. There’s also a reason why she can’t keep staff. She’s awful to work with too. Treats everyone around her like a CRUMB. If she isn’t stealing your money, she doesn’t CARE. She doesn’t know how to build a team culture, odd enough as that’s her JOB? Doesn’t know how to DRAW UP A SINGLE PLAY. We never used the white board the ENTIRE SEASON. Never had a coach that didn’t make their OWN play on their OWN white board. UNPROFESSIONAL. "

"The honey moon ended when I got on Xavier campus. Head games, silent treatments, withholding earned play time, passive aggressive behavior and pitting teammates against each other is how the season went. The coach and her husband seem to have been mad for the past 4 months. Today, almost half of the team decided to go into the transfer portal. She tried to get some of the freshmen to think about it more and to stay. 15 players won't be enough to have a team next year so she is desperate. Regret something else in life but not your decision of where to go to play lacrosse. Xavier wants to back her and ignore the problems, but I think this might change their minds. If it doesn't, then they deserve to lose the millions she just cost them by being the kind of coach she is, and they sure don't deserve your money."

"our recruiting experience was great. she connected with us and my daughter. we felt it was a good match. last year was the first year for xavier to have lacrosse. it was exciting as everything was new. the coaches/staff as a whole were fantastic. fast forward to fall of 2023. the assistant coach, who was amazing, left. two grad assistants hired. one quit in december. the other has no guidance or idea how to coach. it's not totally her fault. there is nobody to mentor her. decker's domestic partner was hired to replace the assistant who left. he has never played lacrosse and has no coaching experience. meg decker is a completely different person from who we originally met. she plays head games with the players. the coaching staff is passive aggressive. they choose to tear players down rather than build them up. she plays favorites and pitted the incoming freshman class against the previous class who started the program. the communication has been awful. there are so many examples i could give as to why i am giving a poor recommendation, but it would take too long. the bottom line is this woman is not a good role model, coach, or person for your daughters to play for. i hope this review helps others to go down a different path."

"She is pretty much as manipulative as a coach gets. If you bring an issue up to her, instead of helping she will cry and make it about her and how you did wrong. She plays head games with the team and really messes with the girl's confidence. I only played with her for a year a Hartford but I watched her tear apart some of the best people I ever met. She focuses on all of the wrong things and is always changing her mind on what's important, but tells you that you are the one with the changing mind, not her. She will tell you to get ready to go in just to humiliate you as you stand in the sub box and she never subs you in. She will play you as a freshman, then slowly learn to hate you, and once she has an opinion of you it never changes. I remember running a run test every Monday until the whole team passed her set time. One girl simply couldn't pass after weeks of running it and Decker made her feel so bad about it and pushed her to quit the team so the team could move on from the run test and Decker wouldn't have to backtrack from her "Everyone has to pass to stop running it" rule. She's a terrible coach and person. I am not surprised by any of the horror stories on this page and they all sound exactly like her. I don't think I personally know any people who played for her that still like her. Take what she says with a grain of salt"

"I played for Decker and am so glad I managed to escape her. Most of the positive reviews on this page are written by her (Cruel) husband as they panicked seeing many of their players use this avenue to keep other potential players from meeting the same depressing and demoralizing fate of playing for her. She manipulates and gaslights you to bring you down so she can control you, she kills your self-worth and tells you this is "normal" and what all teams are like, and that hers is better than the rest. I thought that might be true until I watched my friends leave and I finally did as well, and life is so much better without her and I've realized how much more terrible she was than I ever knew. I'm finally happy to go to practice and play lacrosse now that I'm away from her artistic and twisted insults and culture. She pins players against each other. She doesn't know much about the sport, and many college coaches I talk to said they see players who come from her as "tainted" due to the lack of correct teachings and the emotional baggage they hold from her. She speaks pretty ideas to get in the kindest and biggest-hearted people but is not truthful and she tears you apart as soon as you fail to do everything exactly as she says or bring any negative feedback or opposing opinions. I like to say she could talk her way out of murder because she is so good at talking but never lives up to those words. She is blind to everything around her and has no true regard for anyone else but her family. She makes you distrust yourself and question what is real and fake. I was one of her favorites for a long time and she called me "family" to many. Yet, when I brought up concerns from my teammates about how poorly things were going in the fall (2 coaches quitting because of the toxic environment, running tests that led to hospitalizations, conflicting messages, and practice plans and so much more) she cut me from the team for my "negative attitude". I (with the help and input of others) submitted an anonymous concern report to the admin about how I was worried about my teammate's mental health after getting messages from 30/36 of my teammates about issues they were worried about or having with the team. When she found out who it was, she \]said I was taking my feelings and generalizing them for everyone, then she found a way to get rid of me. I had told many this would happen because I knew how poorly she tends to react to negative feedback and lack of control of the information circulating about her team so I moved my classes to graduate early so she couldn't hurt me. Typically, I would be terrified to admit this here for fear of how she may hurt me or use it against me since she will know who this is. This is how most of her players feel about her and no I'm not just generalizing because I'm on a new team and I still get texts and phone calls every day from the players there freaking out about the new terrible thing she is doing to them each day as they ask for advice and help. Playing for her means every day is a new battle and you can never breathe, her craziness is suffocating. She has cut 4 people in a year and 9 total have left and there will be many more leaving after this year from what I have heard. She used to tell me I wasn't good enough for D1 meanwhile I got awards in the Big East for how I performed (I also got called a bad teammate for asking for my trophy when my teammates were given theirs but I was not). She is the definition of someone who believes in cruel and unusual punishment. She honestly shouldn't be allowed to coach in the NCAA or be near kids she is terrible to do any form of business with and I could write pages about why you are better off playing elsewhere. I didn't fully see the full picture of how bad she was for a long time and I'm glad I finally did and got out of there, If you value your mental health and love for the game please find another coach, she is an example of what is ruining the game of lacrosse. "

"We have started our Spring season and we already have girls talking about transferring or quitting altogether. ROTC practices on top of 20 hour weeks and why? We have a run test but the results don't matter. Same run test as last semester that sent one girl to the hospital who still hasn't been cleared to play. The team culture is brutal and I am one of the liked players. It isn't the way things are supposed to be. Now her baby daddy, who she told everyone was her husband but I guess, he isn't, has been hired to help on the field even though he has no lacrosse experience. He's mean. She's mean. Another assistant coach quit at the beginning of this semester. She was just hired last fall. That means the entire staff is unproven and inexperienced. I'm not sure where we go from here. Too much negativity. I hope we can pull this season off but there are a lot of obstacle. It's depressing."

"I know that there are a lot of drastically different reviews about Meg. My suggestion to any players who might be considering playing for her is that you do your research. Find out why so many of her players at Hartford strongly dislike her and why the program at Xavier has been a disaster. Talk to players who have played for her longer than a year. It is easy to fall in love with her as a coach and person at the beginning, but I promise eventually you will see her for who she really is. Don’t just listen to the players who played for her during one camp or were recently recruited. Talk to players who have stood by her for years and she has still treated like crap. Talk to her old assistant coaches. Talk to players who left her programs and ask them the hard questions. Because trust me you don’t want to give your life to a woman who will manipulate you and lie to your face. Please just don’t be naive and do your research. Don’t be fooled. "

"Have you seen the movie ‘Horrible Bosses’ and are you familiar with Jennifer Aniston’s character? That is Coach Decker. Puts on a great front. Absolutely evil when you get to know her. "

"Meg Decker is amazing. I wouldn’t want anyone else coaching my daughter. She wants to develop her players to be the best they can be on and off the field. Love her."

"There are many stories I have of Decker from when she coached me at Hartford, the one I think about most often is the time a teammate brought weed paraphernalia to an away game, and was using her dab pen on the team bus in front of all of us. When this issue was brought up to Coach Decker, instead of listening to the teams concerns about this player, having drugs on the bus, she got upset with the players who brought it to her attention. Instead of searching the players room and bags, she simply asked the player if she brought anything to which the player lied, and said she didn’t bring anything, after the trip Decker then made one of the players who saw the player using the dab pen on the bus apologize to said player for reporting her and the player who was caught using the dab pen, became very hostile towards this other player, putting her in an uncomfortable situation. It was known to the team that this player often partook in this reckless behavior, and had been in trouble with campus police previously for using marijuana. Many of us were personally afraid to take this to another level as a fear of being kicked off the team for standing up."

"This site acts like a puppet show to an egotistical coach like Decker. Someone talks about planted reviews and they run to get one past athlete who was on the team for a year to post. Then someone says something about likes and they start a campaign to get likes on their posts. They went from 5 to 69 likes in a day on one of them. That’s an amazing waste of time. That’s a club team there. Decker is a disorganized and a sad excuse for a coach. She is not D1 quality and will never have a successful D1 team. She has no friends but a lot of people who are buffaloed by her. Her presentation has been pretty good. The front is falling off quickly and her desperation shows on this site. "

"Erratic leadership, shaming of players, unchecked ego, putting recruiting classes against one another, lack of accountability from the athletic department, if a player speaks up to Meg she is told she is the problem… when she turns to someone else for support this coach gets emotional that she’s being betrayed. Absolutely insane & dysfunctional coaching approach but so insidious it takes a long time to be seen clearly. If anyone else does a good job supporting the players, they won’t be allowed to stay long because they expose her lack of authentic care. "

"Meg is not an X&O coach. Players do what ever they wanton the field and off the field . Decker doesn’t think she should be involved with players lives."

"Coach Decker speaks at you, not to you or with you. She doesn’t hear you. She always acts like she is teaching you something in her condescending way as if she is so old and wise. She uses the same methods to tell you that you are incompetent. She Just shakes her head and says you know you won’t play for me again. She puts you in tears and then puts you in to play when it suits her. Real head games. She pulls you into doing a ton of extra work for leadership and individuals and then lies and says that you didn’t do any of it and ignores your work and abilities. It’s really just constant head games. She does the same to her current and former staff members. It’s so unhealthy. She has the lacrosse community buffaloed. Don’t let that be you."